The Fleeting Fourth Trimester Memories: A New Way of Sleep

Prior to being pregnant, we slept quiet well. I had also done night shifts a nurse prior to getting pregnant so I know what it's like to be awake and asleep at odd hours. 

During the pregnancy, sleep definitely changed for me to having to lie down on my side, and experiencing back aches, frequent washroom trips, and just insomnia on some days. So I know what it's like to not get sleep or have it interrupted and just live with it.

With Joanna being in the picture I felt like it was a big joke when people would kindly say "Make sure you get some rest!". It felt like a big joke as I barely got sleep and the baby had her demands on me as well. Once she did rest I was not finished nesting and had the urge to get more work done even though that would mean I wouldn't be resting my body. (In retrospect: my fault... should have just let things go and let people help more.  I just like being in control...)

It was probably a couple of weeks in that we realized this effort to put Joanna in the crib at night wasn't working, as none of us were getting rest and it was so much work to get Joanna to sleep on her own. My heart broke as I know we spent about 9 months together and now she was in another room and I either couldn't stand her crying or when she was asleep I was wondering how long she would stay asleep for (or whether she was still breathing!).

One night, I nursed her in bed and fell asleep. When I woke up she was still there! Our midwife actually recommended we do this - nurse to sleep as long as we followed safe sleep precautions it was actually fine. I felt guilty for accidentally bed sharing the other night but relieved to hear that it could be done safely. Plus, I had more rest that way!

So since then we have been bed sharing with Joanna especially at night (as I edit this post... with at least one nap a day). It's been great to wake up in the morning with her, and see her grow more and more each day. I loved seeing her wake up with her newborn sounds, and all "balled up" beside me. A few memories before they drift away from the "4th trimester"

• Her all balled up, making those newborn sounds
• Asking hubby, "What is that sound?" and him saying "That's Joanna breathing...". Oh. I had mistaken her breathing for trees hitting our window, cars, strange horns, etc.
• Waking up and asking hubby- "did she fall off?" when I fell over to the side of my bed and he told me she was on the other side between us
• Changing sides in the middle of the night to feed her
• Diaper changes at the middle of the night. Sometimes hubby would get up to do it, while I take a washroom break
• Sitting up to burp her 
• Her kicking me/dancing while I feed her (I later recognized this is a sign of upper/lower gas, or fast milk flow)
• Sitting her on my tummy while I bicycle her legs for a poop (she doesn't poop at night anymore, and we EC her in the morning).
• Eating snacks/drink water/go to the bathroom in the middle of the night (I don't really do that anymore)
• Wrestling Joanna to bed (we discovered this is due to overtiredness - not enough naps during the day)

I am really glad that hubby is okay with this sleeping arrangement. I know this is temporary and I hear stories of kids who sleep with their parents for many years (the family bed) and some who grow out of it sooner than the parents expect (and the parents end up missing sleeping with the child!). I never thought we would go this route at all but it makes sleep so much better for our family and breastfeeding is so much easier with not having to get up at night. I am experimenting with naps now (she is 3 months and a week~ 6 months and a aweek) and seeing if she can nap longer away from me.

I was going  to post this  when Joanna was around 3 months but now it is 6 months and we are still bed sharing. I think I was hesitant to post this at first since I wasn't as confident in our choice in bed sharing and less worried about getting Joanna sleep trained out of fear of messing up her future sleep. Everyone seems happy so I am fine with keeping this up. I want to sidecar our crib to the side of our bed eventually so we all have more room. I have a library book I borrowed called Sweet Sleep from La Leche League. I hope to read through it sometime. In the mean time the evidence and practicality seems to point more and more that bed sharing is a great option for the whole family.  I would write more but I think the book would speak better than I could...