The Fleeting Fourth Trimester Memories: Home Sweet Home

The night before going home was exhausting. I remember having a tearful breakdown with all the sleep deprivation, the hormones, and all of Joanna's crying. Looking back, I could have put her in the bed cuddled right with me and nursed and nursed and nursed. After getting the lab work saying my hemoglobin levels were cleared, we were okay to go home that night or the morning after. We wanted to leave first thing in the morning so the night nurses did some discharge teaching and we were going to get out of there the morning ASAP.

When hubby was taking out stuff from our room to the car, he noted it was raining and was concerned that baby and I would get poured on. He prayed.

Once we left the hospital building, there was no longer rain. God had heard hubby pray and covered us from being rained on.
 
We called hubby's parents to help us clean up once we got home. 

I just remember the relieve of being at home as well as the eerie-ness of it. It was only a couple of days ago we had given birth to Joanna in our room, and left to the hospital, and now we are back, with the evidence of it all over our bedroom floor.

So this is where Joanna was born! The evidence is cleaned up now. Thanks Ma, and Dad and Mom too.

Hubby told me that the laundry was soaking in the bathroom all bloodied and that he cleared that away before I could see it when he had gone home earlier.

I didn't really noticed the stench of it all but I am sure it must have smelled a bit off. I still have memories of the smell of the carpet cleaner we used to clean out the carpet.

I remember taking a shower for the first time after getting home (I chose not to shower to keep all the lovely smells for Joanna and I to bond). My toes were still encrusted with blood... I remember trying to scrub it off. My body felt like it had gone through a lot. I felt something huge just happened in my life and I survived it. It was like I had gone through a rite of passage in life.

I also remember just the sheer pleasure of being at home. Hubby's parents cleaning away things for us while we settle in; I remember feeling very cared for in this moment of piecing life back together. Plus Joanna slept in the crib soundly- it was wonderful. I believe the hospital was too cold for her to sleep comfortably in. I don't know why we didn't think to bundle her up in more clothes at night... I guess there was something unnatural about putting clothes on her until she was ready to go home or something. Oh well. Live and learn right?

Sigh... finally home.