The Fleeting Fourth Trimester Memories: Home Sweet Home

The night before going home was exhausting. I remember having a tearful breakdown with all the sleep deprivation, the hormones, and all of Joanna's crying. Looking back, I could have put her in the bed cuddled right with me and nursed and nursed and nursed. After getting the lab work saying my hemoglobin levels were cleared, we were okay to go home that night or the morning after. We wanted to leave first thing in the morning so the night nurses did some discharge teaching and we were going to get out of there the morning ASAP.

When hubby was taking out stuff from our room to the car, he noted it was raining and was concerned that baby and I would get poured on. He prayed.

Once we left the hospital building, there was no longer rain. God had heard hubby pray and covered us from being rained on.
 
We called hubby's parents to help us clean up once we got home. 

I just remember the relieve of being at home as well as the eerie-ness of it. It was only a couple of days ago we had given birth to Joanna in our room, and left to the hospital, and now we are back, with the evidence of it all over our bedroom floor.

So this is where Joanna was born! The evidence is cleaned up now. Thanks Ma, and Dad and Mom too.

Hubby told me that the laundry was soaking in the bathroom all bloodied and that he cleared that away before I could see it when he had gone home earlier.

I didn't really noticed the stench of it all but I am sure it must have smelled a bit off. I still have memories of the smell of the carpet cleaner we used to clean out the carpet.

I remember taking a shower for the first time after getting home (I chose not to shower to keep all the lovely smells for Joanna and I to bond). My toes were still encrusted with blood... I remember trying to scrub it off. My body felt like it had gone through a lot. I felt something huge just happened in my life and I survived it. It was like I had gone through a rite of passage in life.

I also remember just the sheer pleasure of being at home. Hubby's parents cleaning away things for us while we settle in; I remember feeling very cared for in this moment of piecing life back together. Plus Joanna slept in the crib soundly- it was wonderful. I believe the hospital was too cold for her to sleep comfortably in. I don't know why we didn't think to bundle her up in more clothes at night... I guess there was something unnatural about putting clothes on her until she was ready to go home or something. Oh well. Live and learn right?

Sigh... finally home.

The Fleeting Fourth Trimester Memories: The Adventure to the Hospital

So we had a lovely homebirth experience that ended up in the hospital.
After Joanna was born at home, I had fainted 10 minutes later. I regained consciousness afterward, but my blood pressure was still quite low and wasn't getting back to normal. The midwives called 911 and I was sent to the hospital.

I admit, I didn't really have a worry in my mind, after finding Joanna in Stephen's arms. I didn't have enough strength to get up by myself. I had no idea what I looked like. The concept of riding in an ambulance was actually exciting me. I must have been real loopy. I still remember feeling breathless, and saying over and over again to the paramedics "Am I going to be like this forever?". As a nurse I have sent some of my clients or residents to the hospital but I never got a chance to catch a ride on an ambulance myself. I also admire paramedics as well for the work they do.


There are more details I could share on this experience but here are a few bullet points...

• Hubby had to drive Joanna diaperless in the car seat to the hospital himself...
• Sis was riding in the ambulance with me. 
• I remember the terrible job that was done with my IV... I kept complaining it was hurting my arm and I was concerned about infiltration when they were putting fluids in me.
• The stitches for my tear were worse than labour. My OB didn't know what "OWWWoowowowWWWW" meant it seemed. Not enough freezing unfortunately. I can't even count how many stitches I had...
• I had pumped enough colostrum for Joanna prior to the delivery that Stephen could give her some while I was recovering. It was enough before the first feed I had with her and observe her hands and face for the first time.
• Hubby's parents came to visit us in the middle of the night and relieve hubby.
• I had a few units of blood transfusions 
• A lady from church who worked there visited us
• We roomed in a private room in the post-partum unit
• There were some good nurses, some not so helpful nurses
• It stopped raining once Joanna and I were loaded into the car after hubby prayed for the rain to stop
• The first few days of recovery in the hospital was the most grueling days I experienced in my life it seemed, with Joanna transitioning outside the womb, while I felt so helpless in my own body. 

The Lord is so gracious the merciful to us in so many ways! I am so glad for hospitals. However I was much more happier to leave the place afterward.

If you are reading this you might be wondering if I still would advocate for a homebirth. I still loved my homebirth experience, as crazy as it might seem to some. I didn't share much on the actual home birth experience itself on this blog... I probably won't because I prefer to share it in person and with all the graphic details :P. Joanna came out perfectly. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Me holding Joanna the night we transferred to the post-partum unit.

Hubby and Joanna! He was such a trooper helping me during the labour, driving Joanna to the hospital, staying up changing her diapers and feeding her when I wasn't able to, and making sure I got my food, meds, water, etc. I felt bad he still hadn't changed his clothes after the birth... he must have been really exhausted and wanting a shower by now. Thanks hubby <3

Chilling.

The Fleeting Fourth Trimester Memories: Holding Joanna for the First Time

Joanna was born at 1:55 AM on October 2, 2014,  on our bedroom floor.

The first time I got to hold Joanna, it was in a squat, finishing my pushing, when they told me I could pick up Joanna. I felt a bit disoriented and in disbelief that she was already out and that I could actually... touch her!

I remember reaching down and then there she was. I think I needed a bit help because I couldn't see her and it was all slimy down there. I remember feeling her torso and holding her toward my chest and hearing her cry. It felt so good to finally have her out after all that labour and hear her breathe and cry! I wanted to breathe and cry too.

I felt so thankful to God for giving us a gift of a child and the endurance to handle the pregnancy, labour and delivery. I'll have to talk about the recovery on another post...

The Fleeting Fourth Trimester Memories: My armpit, her home.

So hubby started to blog more on his blog lately. He encouraged that I should blog too and I asked him what he wanted me to blog about. And he said, "How about your armpit?"

Haha... so after giving birth to Joanna, I noticed something strange. My body odour was offensive... to ME! I was concerned as I wasn't too keen on wearing antiperspirants because of what I have heard about certain antiperspirants and their relation to cancer. I just haven't had the time to find something that worked during my pregnancy. During my pregnancy, I worked hot summer days and was not this offended at my smell. Therefore I just didn't bother. But now I was bothered!!

I asked the midwife about this new smell of mine, and she told me that it was to help the baby recognize me. Interesting. I believe God's design in pregnancy and child birth so I guess this makes sense too. I also read online that it is hormone related. 

Interestingly, once we started bed sharing, the natural position for Joanna to sleep is right under my armpit after we finish nursing. It's nice and warm and close to Mummy. And it STINKS (at least to me). I'm sure she likes being close to my milk smells too but... my armpit is just... ughh... I can't explain it. Hubby loves all those newborn smells... but I won't even let him get near my armpits!

I had noticed a few days ago that I am no longer offended at my body odour (unless I'm out and have gotten all sweaty). Joanna still likes hanging out under there but that's cool.

Joanna at 3 weeks, hanging out with mummy in bed.

Joanna at 3 weeks. Sometimes I nurse on the floor so I can sneak away and do my own thing. Sometimes it she doesn't notice, sometimes she does.

Joanna at almost 3 months :)